I’m made two New Year’s resolutions this year. And they are both kind of big overarching goals for the direction I want to take my life this next year that come with a bunch of smaller goals. So I figured each one deserves its own post. Hence, why this is part 1.
My New Year’s resolutions this year are:
- Do what I need to do to not feel like crap
- Live as authentically as possible without fear of standing out or being different
This post will talk more about the first one: Do what I need to do to not feel like crap.
2024 was a hard year for me. Probably the most stressful year of my life. My husband’s health issues got worse (we switched doctors a couple months ago and things are a little less hopeless now) and I’ve often felt like I was drowning under the increased responsibility of taking care of him and everything around the house. And self care has taken a bit of a backseat to just trying to survive. I’ve been feeling really sluggish and depressed and I’ve been getting sick a lot, too. Which only serves to make everything feel that much harder.
I’m trying to make little changes and tackle things that make the biggest difference first. I know exercise makes a big difference in my mood so I’ve been working out again. I’m trying not to get demotivated by the fact that I have lost a lot of strength over the last few years. I’ve been doing my best during a difficult time and my body is bearing the burden of that struggle. My shoulders and my back have gotten weak and my stamina is poor, but I’m showing up and trying to make a change and that’s something I should be proud of. I’m sore as hell today but in a way it feels good because I know I’m getting stronger.
Eating healthy is a harder thing to tackle. Right now I’m just trying to cut back on sugar and fast food. If frozen pizza is what I’ve got the energy for, that’s okay. I shouldn’t get mad at myself and feel like a failure for not having the energy to cook. Especially after having a very active day and getting delayed getting home because Walmart took 20 minutes to get my pickup order out to me. I’m trying to be more kind and forgiving with myself. And I can always make that pork loin tonight. And so far work is easier today, despite having to drive through the snow to get here. I know stress about driving in the snow is going to sap my energy somewhat, so I’m trying to be more prepared.
I’m also working on sleep, mostly by not keeping my phone in grabbing distance. I’m going to have to get up earlier in a couple weeks since my schedule is changing, and I’m trying to transition slowly rather than just waking up earlier one day. Having extra time in the mornings will be good in the meantime. I have a lot more energy early in the day. I’m usually tired when I get home. I wonder how the new schedule will affect that.
And lastly, I’m trying to be more intentional with my rest and recreational time. I need to make time for myself where I don’t feel like I’m on call. I need to actively pursue things I enjoy and not just browse mindlessly on my phone in my downtime. I want to read more books, play more games, make more games, do more art, spend more time with friends and family, hell maybe even get around to making some more friends down here. My social life has dwindled to nothing lately and it’s been bad for my mental health.
Essentially I’m just looking at my life, figuring out what’s making me feel like crap, and making little changes where I can. And most importantly, treating myself with kindness along the way.
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